Institute for Marital Healing

Resources for Clergy

“It is important that the priest should mould his human personality in such a way that he becomes a bridge and not an obstacle for others in their meeting with Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of humanity," John Paul II, 1992, Pastores Dabo Vobis.

"Priests are the greatest benefactors of humanity," Cardinal Claudio Hummes, Prefect for the Congregation of Clergy, January 8, 2008.

Ministry to those with pornography conflicts

Priests are reporting a marked increase in ministry to those with internet pornography conflicts. For this serious difficulty we recommend the new DVD/CD, Blessed Are the Pure of Heart, which discusses Bishop Robert Finn's excellent pastoral letter on pornography.  Our associate, Peter Kleponis, also comments on the emotional and character conflicts which influence pornography addiction. It can be ordered at www.familyland.org/FLStore/SearchResults.aspx?txtSearch+1036-07. A preview of this DVD is available at YouTube.com, www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9tQ4n9PLzI. Also, the chapter on the addicted spouse/relative on this site addresses the pornography conflict in married life.

In our clinical experience the most common emotional and character conflicts which influence this difficulty are:

  • Selfishness
  • Loneliness and sadness
  • Marital conflicts with a controlling, angry, critical, selfish, emotionally distant or negative spouse
  • Confidence weaknesses
  • Excessive sense of responsibility with lack of balance in life
  • Poor body image
  • Social isolation
  • Mistrust and anxiety in relationships
  • Excessive anger
  • Guilt and shame
  • Lack of self-giving to others
  • Difficulty in receiving love
  • Disordered priorities
  • Excessive sense of independence
  • Boredom with contraceptive sex
  • Lack of acceptance by peers, particularly in adolescents
  • Lack of sense of fulfillment.

Chapters on this site which address sadness, selfishness, anxiety, marital love and sexuality, marital anger and controlling conflicts can be helpful to those with this serious difficulty. In our clinical experience these conflicts can be resolved and, subsequently, the compulsive use of pornography healed. 

Internet pornography healing

We have found that teleconferences for men with internet pornography addiction in which anonymity is maintained by using first names are very effective in the treatment process.  In these teleconferences the emotional causes of the conflict are addressed and the twelve steps are employed.  A number of articles which demonstrate the benefits of telepsychiatry are available at Medline, the web site of the National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed.

Books that are helpful with this conflict include Clean of Heart, Every Young Man's Battle Guide, Theology of the Body for Teens, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality and Theology of the Body for Beginners and The Courage to be Chaste.

Parents have attempted to protect their children in high school and college from pornography by placing a program on their laptops such as Covenant Eyes which sends a weekly report to the parents of the web sites visited. Some college students have been warned that if regular pornography use is found that they will lose their financial support. Those struggling with internet pornography have been helped by having the weekly report from this program sent to a good friend. Attached is a power point presentation on internet pornography addiction.

For Catholics working with a confessor/spiritual director is important in the treatment plan.  Spiritual directors can assist individuals to grow in trusting the Lord has plan to protect them from loneliness and to strengthen their male confidence.

Parishioners who view homosexual pornography on the internet can be helped by reading about the origins and healing of same sex attractions (PDF format), as well as a statement by a scientific committee on homosexuality and scientific research.  Also, the You tube interview of Dr. Robert Spitzer of Columbia University on the possibility of healing same sex attractions can be informative www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBhW2q11qu8&feature=related. He comments on his research study of 200 adults who were out of the lifestyle for at least five years which was published in a major peer reviewed journal. Dr. Spitzer led the task force that removed homosexuality from psychiatric diagnostic manual in 1973.

False Accusations Against Priests

For many reasons, false accusations against authority figures, coworkers, members of the clergy, and even spouses have increased in recent years.  At times, reputations have been ruined, family relationships destroyed, and both  professional and religious lives have been shattered.  Often, the rush to judgment is immediate and the direction of the investigation involves only the accused.  Justice demands that an evaluation against an individual should include a study of the person making the accusation as well.  Such a step is frequently skipped when members of the clergy are accused of inappropriate conduct. 

Accused clergy should be allowed to review and respond to the accusations against them before being asked to undergo psychological testing. 

Completed studies did at times conclude that the accusations that were made were justified.

When gathering data concerning the accused person, it is important to discover  any possible uncovered motives  that the accuser brought to the incident such as significant anger or control difficulties.  Actual case histories have revealed some of the following conflicts in the accuser:

  • significant anger against male authority figures or other important males which is misdirected at a priest
  • a compulsive need to control with intense anger toward the priest because of an inability to control him
  • intense jealousy of the priest
  • profound lack of confidence with a need to feel superior to the priest and to punish him
  • depression and mental instability
  • substance abuse
  • desire for publicity
  • hatred of the Catholic Church
  • sexual conflicts
  • prejudice
  • desire for financial gain
  • blind zeal for a cause
  • anger against the fullness of the Church’s teaching on sexual morality and the liturgy and the faithfulness in the priest in these areas
  • narcissism
  • lack of faith
  • sociopathic personality traits.

Mental health professionals who are called upon to evaluate priests should report more fully on the background of the accuser and should document how they have determined that the specific accusation against the priest is not a false accusation. The need for such an evaluation process is clear given the extent of the false accusations made in our culture today. 

Conflicts in Priestly Relationships

Conferences also are offered for priests on identifying and resolving conflicts in priestly relationships. Here is an article on this topic from THE PRIEST from 1985.  In our professional experience the primary origins of these conflicts have changed from being the result primarily of weaknesses in emotional self-giving to being the result of contrasting views of the Church and Her role as teacher, especially as regards sexual morality, marriage and the liturgy. Dr. Paul Vitz's article on narcissism in the liturgy, published in Homiletic and Pastoral Review in the November 2007, http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/civilization/cc0254.htm, is helpful in understanding the influence of this character weakness and its associated anger in the priesthood.

Younger priests who are faithful to Magesterium on issues of sexual morality and contraception, the liturgy and marriage can experience criticism, anger and rejection from older pastors who may even unfairly accuse them of being pastorally insensitive, rigid and conservative.  Such anger is also expressed in passive-aggressive ways in which the pastor enables the director of religious education, the music director, school principal and others on the parish staff to mistreat, attempt to control and, even, limit the ministry of the faithful priest. Such mistreatment, especially early in a priest's ministry, can have seriously harmful effects upon the emotional and the spiritual lives of these priests who can experience isolation and severe loneliness in such rectories and religious communities.

On the fortieth anniversary of the release of Humanae Vitae, July 25, 2008, Cardinal James Francis Stafford has written that dissenters to this important papal document involved a level of infidelity which divided the ranks of clergy to such an extent that they have still not recovered.  He wrote, "In 1968 something terrible happened in the Church. Within the ministerial priesthood ruptures developed everywhere among friends which never healed. And the wounds continue to affect the whole Church. The dissent, together with the leaders' manipulation of the anger they fomented, became a supreme test. It changed fundamental relationships within the Church." 

He wrote, "Conversations among the clergy where they existed, became contaminated with fear.  Suspicions among priests were chronic. ...The Archdiocesan priesthood lost something of the fraternal whole which these priests had known for generations."

In regard to his own personal struggles Cardinal Stafford wrote that at as an auxiliary Bishop in 1968 at a priestly meeting to discuss Humane Vitae in August 1968 he was verbally abused and his integrity was derided for being the only priest at the meeting to support the Papal document.  Furthermore, he was warned that he was risking his ecclesiastical future by his support of Humanae Vitae,

www.catholicnewsagency.com/resource.php?n=675.

The trust in priestly relationships has also been damaged by conflicts over the celebration of the Eucharist.  Pastors who take liberties with the liturgy are often angry toward younger priests who do not engage in such liturgical irregularities.  Some pastors have pressured associate priests to leave parishes because in the pastor's opinion their "liturgical style" did not fit in with the pastor's vision for the parish.

St. Augustine's words to his priests about the importance of priestly friendships are relevant today.  He wrote: "Preserve, my sons, that friendship which you have begun with your brethren, for nothing in the world is more beautiful than that. It is a comfort to have a faithful man by your side." As in the sacrament of marriage, healthy friendships require a daily commitment to grow in numerous virtues, particularly patience, forgiveness, forbearance and trust.

Evidence Based Medicine and Moral Issues

The Philadelphia Medical Association has made available on its web site, www.cathmedphila.org/resources/evidence_based_ethics.htm power point presentations which demonstrate that medical and psychological science support the teaching of the Church in regard to the use of hormonal contraceptives, same sex unions and adoptions, stem cell research, and abortion. 

Gender Identity (Sexual) Disorder, Cross-dressing and Transsexual Conflicts

This site has a chapter on gender (sexual) identity disorder which explains the psychological reasons which lead children to identify primarily with the opposite sex and to desire to cross dress.  GID is the most common childhood precursor to transsexual issues.  The primary emotional conflict in these children is the failure of the child to identify with and accept the goodness of one's masculinity or femininity.  Drs. Zucker and Bradley in their textbook on GID report that 80% of children with this disorder experience a resolution of their symptoms.  Zucker and Bradley's research also demonstrates serious emotional conflicts in the majority of the mothers of these children.

The Catholic Medical Association has information available on understanding children who have difficulty embracing the goodness of their masculinity or femininity and the desire for cross dressing at www.narth.com/docs/CMApressrelease.pdf. Also, a recent article describes the controversy surrounding the treatment of children with hormones in preparation for trans gender surgery.

Several articles on the transsexual issues, the desire for sex change surgery (www.narth.com/docs/desiresch.html, www.mercatornet.com/articles/vile_bodies_and_quack_remedies, www.mercatornet.com/articles/is_changing_gender_as_simple_as_changing_clothes) can be helpful in ministry to families with these conflict.  Dr. Paul Mc Hugh, the former chair person of psychiatry at John Hopkins, has written an excellent article on his study of transsexual surgery there on how he worked to bring to an end this surgery at Hopkins. 

Based on his research findings as result of studying these patients before and after surgery Dr. Paul Mc Hugh stated: “I concluded that Hopkins was fundamentally cooperating with a mental illness. We psychiatrists, I thought, would do better to concentrate on trying to fix their minds and not their genitalia." He added, “As for the adults who came to us claiming to have discovered their "true" sexual identity and to have heard about sex-change operations, we psychiatrists have been distracted from studying the causes and natures of their mental misdirections by preparing them for surgery and for a life in the other sex. We have wasted scientific and technical resources and damaged our professional credibility by collaborating with madness rather than trying to study, cure, and ultimately prevent it.”

An article in the National Catholic Bio ethics Quarterly, Spring 2009, assesses the medical, psychological and ethical appropriateness of sexual reassignment surgery.  Sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) violates basic medical and ethical principles and is therefore not ethically or medically appropriate. (1) SRS mutilates a healthy, non-diseased body. To perform surgery on a healthy body involves unnecessary risks; therefore, SRS violates the principle primum non nocere, "first, do no harm." (2) Candidates for SRS may believe that they are trapped in the bodies of the wrong sex and therefore desire or, more accurately, demand SRS; however, this belief is generated by a disordered perception of self. Such a fixed, irrational belief is appropriately described as a delusion. SRS, therefore, is a "category mistake"?Xit offers a surgical solution for psychological problems such as a failure to accept the goodness of one's masculinity or femininity, lack of secure attachment relationships in childhood with same-sex peers or a parent, self-rejection, untreated gender identity disorder, addiction to masturbation and fantasy, poor body image, excessive anger, and severe psychopathology in a parent. (3) SRS does not accomplish what it claims to accomplish. It does not change a person's sex; therefore, it provides no true benefit. (4) SRS is a "permanent," effectively unchangeable, and often unsatisfying surgical attempt to change what may be only a temporary (i.e., psychotherapeutically changeable) psychological/psychiatric condition, www.ncbcenter.metapress.com.

At the very least, health professionals who deal with these individuals and their families should evaluate the part of strong anger with oneself and others, self-pity, childhood trauma, addiction to masturbation and fantasy, envy play and parental emotional conflicts in the development of these conflicts.  These persons also should be evaluated for both borderline or narcissistic personality disorders. 

In December 2008 Pope Benedict expressed his views about gender, “That which is often expressed and understood by the term Gender, results finally in the self-emancipation of man from creation and from the Creator. Man wishes to act alone and to dispose ever and exclusively of that alone which concerns him. But in this way he is living contrary to the truth, he is living contrary to the Spirit Creator.  The tropical forests are deserving, yes, of our protection, but man merits no less than the creature, in which there is written a message which does not mean a contradiction of our liberty, but its condition,” Pope Benedict, December 22, 2008.

Crisis in the Church

When Pope John Paul II met the U.S. Cardinals and Bishops on April 23, 2002 to discuss the sex-abuse scandals in the United States he stated, "The abuse of the young is a grave symptom of a crisis affecting not only the Church, but society as a whole. It is a deeply seated crisis of sexual morality even of human relationships, and its prime victims are the family and the young. In addressing the problem of abuse with clarity and determination, the Church will help society to understand and deal with the crisis in its midst."

John Paul II also said, "They (the Catholic faithful) must know that bishops and priests are totally committed to the fullness of Catholic truth on matters of sexual morality, a truth as essential to the renewal of the priesthood and the episcopate as it is to the renewal of marriage and family life."

Priest Programs

The post crisis conferences for priests regularly focus on the issue of "boundaries." However, many priests have criticized these programs for failing to address the crisis in sexual morality and the emotional, character and spiritual conflicts which result in the sexual predation of adolescent males. In our clinical experience every priest who became involved with adolescents or children had previously engaged in homosexual acts with those his own age either in his adolescence or in his adult life.

The pamphlet of the Catholic Medical Association, "Homosexuality and Hope", which presents the medical and psychological science on the origins, nature, morbidity and treatment of homosexuality can be valuable in post crisis programs. Also, Dr. Fitzgibbons’ article from Homiletic and Pastoral Review on the crisis in the Church, and Zenit interviews on the John Jay Report and on same sex unions and adoption are available at www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=52897 and at www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=74506 and can be helpful to priests.

In addition, an article in Homiletic and Pastoral Review presents studies from the medical and psychiatric literature which demonstrate a correlation between homosexuality and the abuse of adolescent males.

The seriousness of the damage caused by the homosexual behaviors of priests with adolescent males is highlighted by the recent judicial decision placing at risk the assets from parish churches and schools in one Archdiocese in order to pay at least $300 million to victims.

In our clinical experience most of the priests involved in the crisis had painful childhood and adolescent experiences of significant loneliness and sadness, felt insecure in their masculinity, and had a poor body image. Under severe stress they experienced strong physical and sexual attraction to adolescent males. All the priests we treated were involved with adult homosexual behaviors before involvement with children or adolescents.

We have observed many priests grow in holiness and in happiness in their ministry as a result of the healing of their childhood and adolescent male insecurity, loneliness, sadness, poor body image, anger and, subsequently, their same-sex attractions. This healing process has been described in the statement of the Catholic Medical Association, "Homosexuality and Hope."

Our experience over 30 years has convinced us of the direct link between rebellion and anger against the Church's teaching, and sexually promiscuous behaviors. This appears to be a two-way street: Those who are sexually active dissent from the Church's teaching on sexuality to justify their own actions, while those who adopt rebellious ideas on sexual morality are more vulnerable to become sexually active, because they have little to no defense against sexual temptations.  Growth in forgiveness and humility are essential in the treatment of such priests.

Gerard van den Aardweg, Ph.D., the leading European Catholic psychological expert on homosexuality, has written an important paper on SSA, seminarians and priesthood available at www.kath.net/detail.php?id=12161.

Adolescent Males - The Primary Victims of the Crisis

The John Jay College study on the crisis revealed that 81% of the victims were males and 76% were adolescent males. Therefore, a specific program is needed for these males. Specifically, Catholic adolescent males deserve to know the fullness of the truth about sexual morality and about homosexuality in order to protect themselves from sexual predators. To date no such programs exist for the primary victims of the crisis.

Dr. Paul Mc Hugh, former psychiatrist-in-chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and a member of the national review board, in the November 13, 2005 issue of the National Catholic Register reported that the John Jay findings of adolescent abuse as “remark able.” He stated, I'm amazed that this fundamental bombshell has not been the subject of greater interest and discuss ion.” He told the Register, I'm astonished that people throughout America are not talking about it, thinking about it, and wondering about what the mechanisms were that set this alight .”

The emotional conflicts that can led adult males in the Church to sexually abuse adolescent males are:

  • weak male confidence
  • narcissism
  • loneliness and sadness
  • lack of peer acceptance in childhood and adolescence
  • poor body image
  • excessive anger and rebelliousness
  • sexual abuse in childhood
  • pornography addiction
  • acceptance of the sexual utilitarian philosophy
  • deeply rooted homosexuality
  • lack of faith and a personal relationship with Jesus.

Child Programs

Many parents, educators and Catholic mental health professionals have raised concerns about the post crisis sexual abuse prevention programs for children. These include failure to protect the innocence and emotional health of children, particularly the development of their trust. Other reported weaknesses are that they impose premature sex information on children that can damage them.

In response to these concerns raised by parents and bishops the Catholic Medical Association has done a study of the post crisis sexual abuse prevention programs for children, To Protect and To Prevent (www.cathmed.org). The conclusions sent to the Bishops were that many studies demonstrate that “the child-empowerment programs have been analyzed and have been found to be both inconsistent with the science of the emotional, cognitive, neurobiological and moral development of the child. They are also found to be ineffective at preventing the sexual abuse of children. These programs are also inconsistent with the Church’s teaching on the education of children in matters pertaining to sexuality and faith.”

The Catholic Medical Association's task force report on the crisis child program, To Protect and To Prevent: The Sexual Abuse of Children and  Its Prevention, www.cathmed.org/bookstore/index.htm, recommends that, “the present sexual abuse prevention programs be rescinded because they are ineffective and potentially damaging. We recommend that programs be developed for parents to assist them in the development and protection of their children.”   The outstanding document from the Pontifical Council for the Family, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, could be the basis for parental programs for child protection.

Adult Programs

The adult programs have been criticized for failing to identity the crisis in sexual morality as the primary cause of the crisis in the Church as stated several years ago by Pope John Paul II. These programs also do not address the role of homosexuality in the sexual predation of adolescent males. In fact, in one program for teachers and other adults four myths related to the crisis are identified with the third "myth" being that homosexuality has played a role in the crisis. All the post crisis programs should address the role of narcissism in the crisis because it is the major personality conflict which leads one to use another person as a sexual object.

Finally, Pope Benedict's comments on Judas in Jesus, The Apostles, and the Early Church, can motivate each of us in our response to the crisis.   He wrote, “While there is no lack of unworthy and traitorous Christians in the Church, it is up to each of us to counterbalance the evil done by them with our clear witness to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior,”Jesus, The Apostles, and the Early Church (2007) Ignatius Press, p. 108.

Growth in Affective Maturity in Seminarians

Pope John Paul II in Pastores Dabo Vobis, n. 43, wrote: “Affective maturity, which is the result of an education in true and responsible love, is a significant and decisive factor in the formation of candidates for the priesthood.”

Dr. Fitzgibbons has given conferences on growth in affective maturity to seminarians, to the spiritual formation teams of one eastern and two midwest seminaries and to the spiritual directors of American seminaries at the 2003 annual meeting at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary.

Dr. Fitzgibbons also has extensive experience in the evaluation of candidates for the priesthood and religious life. Measures are used to evaluate the most prevalent emotional conflicts of anxiety, anger, sadness and confidence weaknesses (Kessler R.C., 2005). In depth interviews compliment the testing in identifying strengths and emotional weaknesses. Then, when indicated, we recommend that the candidate try to grow in certain virtues, which can help in the resolution of emotional pain and character weaknesses (see Character Strengths and Virtues). We also suggest that they address them with a spiritual director.

The most common emotional conflicts which lead young men to consider leaving seminary are selfishness, the fear of loneliness in the future, weaknesses in male confidence. Programs which address these specific issues could resolve these conflicts and strengthen the emotional health of seminarians.  An article on the identification and resolution of loneliness can be helpful to these young men in regard to their fear of loneliness (article in Adobe PDF format).

Finally, the 2006 Vatican document on candidates for the seminary should be helpful in protecting the Church also.  Dr. Fitzgibbons’ Zenit interview on this document are available at

www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=81164  

www.zenit.org/english/visualizza.phtml?sid=81225.  

Ongoing Educational Conferences

Dr. Fitzgibbons has given many ongoing educational programs for priests in a number of dioceses and religious communities. Three DVDs are available for priests from 2004 clergy conferences on priestly ministry to parishioners with the most prevalent emotional conflicts of anxiety and mistrust, depression /loneliness, anger and confidence weaknesses.  He has also given conferences to priests on their addressing conflicts which interfere with marital self-giving and happiness.

An article on the identification and resolution of loneliness in priestly life has been helpful to many priests in their ministry. (article in Adobe PDF format).